An Artist's Tail #6 - Stealing is Wrong

Things I’ve learned in the past twelve hours: Restaurants are never has clean as you’d like, it’s really easy to get roped into a drug business and beating up six-year-olds is an easy source of income.

Today has got to be better than yesterday.

Things are already looking up. This road looks like it’s completely clear of tall grass. I guess that’s bound to happen on a road linking two cities.

It’s Cheren! Dude, you wouldn’t believe what happened in that town last night. First, you know that Fennel lady Professor Pokémon told us to find? Wait, she didn’t tell you to get invol-

What? What’s so urgent?

I guess we can do this. That badge wasn’t all that hard to get, you know?

Rock beats Fire.

Uh, yeah. Tackle’s often a good move. You know what isn’t a good move?

Hey, you guessed it!

Where are you getting all of these berries? This climate is terrible for growing them.

Aerodactyl, it looked like you just took a dive. Are you afraid of fire? Is that it?

Artemia’s pretty much running on auto. I didn’t even tell her to do that.

Simians > Swine.

This should be interesting. Soundwave can’t even leave a bruise.

Now she definitely can’t.

Yikes. You better get out of there, girl. Since you did such a good job earlier, Artemia, I have faith you can get this done.

You’ll never get that for as long as you use Odor Sleuth.

If you can’t hurt them with one strong hit, hurt them with twenty weak ones!

Because you only have two Pokémon. You know you can carry six at a time, right?

You have a level 14 and a level 12. I used two level 9’s and a level 10. I was weaker than you in that fight. You still owe me for my room.

I see you’ve taken to beating up preschoolers, too.

Competently, yes.

What the hell is that?

Their morning run?

West. They’re the same guys from last night, right?

Who’s your friend?

Is that so?

I can see us doing that. It’s a noble quest. We didn’t even have to meet up in a tavern to get it! I’ll be the tank.

How does someone misplace something like this?

Ooh, a pretty bird. I bet Muggy would love to eat you.

Muggy’s not with me now so I’ll have to save you for later.

Lachlan the Mad thought Pidove was a lazy name and nicknamed it appropriately

Why thank you! If I knew how you were seeing them through their Pokéballs that are attached to my belt and under my shirt, I might think that’s not a completely creepy thing to say.

Where did you find this? I asked Cheren but he didn’t seem inclined to answer.

Ooh, insect repellent. Not quite as useful now as in the summer time.

I thought Blitzles lived in the Savannah. What is a herd of them doing here? Did it escape from a zoo? Or maybe the Day Care…

Whatever. Mine now.

Thomas named this with unanimous support

I know! Let’s smoke ‘em out! You get Tepig warmed up, I’ll gather up sticks and kindling. Actually, that sounds like too much effort. It’d be faster just to put Tepig right in front of them and burn them.

Yeah, mine are. How are yours? The store doesn’t sell revives yet and you didn’t go back to the city so…

What’s up, guys? Did you steal a Pokémon from a little girl?

You know what, Cheren? I believe them.

Okay… Just to make sure. Pillow, attack!

The rat’s getting broody, Pillow.

Pillow attacks with HIPPY POWERS!

Mellow out, dude…

What’s with the bad looks, man?

Feel the love…

Now follow up with a daisy in its mouth!

Trials by strength are rarely determined by who’s actually right. Because you can’t defeat us, we could hold you accountable for pretty much anything. You killed JFK, didn’t you!

So you’re saying you did take it?

We got out of your way in time. Maybe if you weren’t running so fast, we wouldn’t have been in your way.

Yes! There is no greater pleasure than beating up a man for something he didn’t do except beating up two men for something they didn’t do!

Wow, did you go through that last fight without a scratch? Pillow wasn’t so lucky.

Pillow, no! You bastards didn’t even give peace a chance!

I think they’ve got a taste for bacon. Soundwave, take advantage of that!

Soundwave just became a pimp. Much better than the drug trade.

When you’re facing a real trainer (and Cheren), you’re bound to lose.

Yeah, you can go. But don’t steal anything else.

Fine, I’ll stay here and explore the cave.

Ooh! So cute! Must have!

I must hug it!

Lachlan the Mad: It's wibbly and wobbly and timey and wimey and a bit batty too

Hmm… Could Team Plasma have left this behind? Or is something else at play here?

Damn! I tripped on something.

Oh, hello there little fella.

Go easy on it, Artemia.

Holy shit!

That is one tough cookie.

anaphysik suggested this. Others suggested "Lady Parts"

I think I’ve gotten as much out of this cave as I’m gonna.

And I didn’t even need my Escape Rope.

The second-least I could do. Shame I'm not going to do more.

I’ll see you later, Bianca. Wait, how did you get out here? Did you get a Gym Badge too?

Looks like a good crew. Nacrene City won’t know what hit it.

And I get to show off my new Pebble.

That happens to a lot of people.

Not another fight, Cheren. The last one was twenty minutes ago. And before that, fifteen hours ago. We’ve been through this, I’m awesome. As that guy up the road said, my greatness is overwhelming.

Why can’t we travel together? It would be easier.

The Pebble is now capable of pea-shooting. Just don’t ask where on its body the rocks come from.

I suppose. Let’s use one of our lesser-trained Pokémon.

Close, but Thorse’s speed cinched it for us.

More of this junk. They’re more common than McDonalds cups. And that’s saying something.

Nah, it’s better to stumble upon random strategies that somehow work. Far more reliable. I’ll show you. I call this one ‘actually using an attack’.

So far, I’m winning. See, my plan works!

The system is foolproof. Now I’ll use it again with Soundwave.

Oh God! I never thought about what would happen when this strategy faces itself.

You learnt that Soundwave is superior and Tennant always finds a way to win. Also that rats and cats are dreadful pets. Much better to get a dog that can paint.

Is that candy I see? Thorse, go! Wait, no. 2HP. Tennant, go!

The ‘electrified’ Pokémon now knows electric attacks! Brilliant!

Oh? Allow me to show you my strategy.

Blink and you’ll miss it.

What would you have done differently?

Finally! I can buy my art supplies. Hey Raph, isn’t this near where you were born?

Are we going to the bat cave?

Best. Tour Guide. Ever. Succinct and to the point.

That sounds like the hardest challenge I’ve faced all day. No, wait, that wild Audino was pretty hard. As long as the Gym Leader doesn’t have one of those, I think I’ll be fine.