An Artist's Tail #5 - Dreams Are Shattered

I’ve toughened up. Me and Raph are now ready to kick this Gym Leader’s butt.

“3 C’s Restaurant: You Just Got Served!”

I’ve gotta warn you, I have hated tour guides ever since Pokémon Professor guided me around a Pokémon Center.

I thought water was free with every meal. At least it's... fresh...

Sounds very… expensive. Can I just get a schnitzel and chips?

Hmm… A curtain in the middle of the restaurant… Water beats fire, right?

Did I do that or is it just a coincidence?

What the hell? That’s Raph’s painting of a bowl of fruit. What’s that doing here?

Thanks! Seat for one, please.

What? No! Food. I can see it on your cloche.

Ah! It’s a dog eating my dog! What kind of world is this? You’re supposed to give me food! Not feed my dog to yours! Raph, bear your teeth!

Hey, waiter-boy. Want the second course?

Too much. Take it back.

A restaurant that pays you. I like this idea.

Why aren’t you people serving food?

Oh come on! You’ve got a rat in here? That’s gotta be breaking some kind of laws. You should get something like a giant rock bird to deal with them.

I don’t think your cat is a great pest-controller. Like I said, rock birds.

Food. I would enjoy food.

You! At last. I want to issue you a complaint about your restaurant.

What the hell? Where did you guys come from?

Chili, Cilan and Cress? Your parents hated you.

I’ll battle the Gym Leader. Which one is he?

So you’re all Gym Leaders? Then which of you was at the Trainer’s School? How come I couldn’t come challenge the other two while you were away? Why has everyone spoken of the Gym Leader as a single person?

Fuck it. I chose a Smeargle. Normal type.

Do your smoke alarms work?

If you’re the one Cheren faced, I won’t have a problem.

Do that thing you always do, Fluffy! Tackle!

It’s worked on other Pokémon.

Holy… Sh- Cat, go!

Well done, Muggy!

Oh crap. I forgot ‘dog always beats cat’.

See, Chili? Tackle does work on your Pokémon! You said Fire type? Rock beats fire.

I’ve still got three. Face it, buddy, you lose this one.

Critical hit? Can’t blame you for that, Aerodactyl. Next up, simian water feature!

It’s working!

Bloody monkeys. Okay, last one. You up for this, Raph?

Nothing like the smell of burnt dog to make a man lose his appetite. Show Artemia up!

Dog beats monkeys. And cats. And rats. By the way, I’m bringing you up on health and safety violations.

I could be persuaded to overlook it…

I think that’ll do.

What? Oh god, put it out! Put it out!

In your face, Cheren!

And they let you buy more crap from the strange stores.

As far as bribes go, this is quite nice. I also need a new TV. No?

That’s a shame. I thought I was halfway to becoming the Champion. Later, losers.

Hey, I know that guy.

It’s getting kinda late. I better fin-

What the hell?

Oh right, I was meant to find you.

I know I’m not an architect but I have worked out what stairs are. You found me on stairs, we had to walk up some stairs to enter the building, my bedroom’s upstairs… I think I’ve got the concept down-pat.

Well, you wear the uniform, I guess.

How so?

Why, thank you. That’s very helpful.

I want paint brushes. Scratch my back.

Dream Mist, eh? That doesn’t sound too hard… I’ll go there after fixing up my Pokémon.

Hmm… I’ve never been down an alley in a city before…

Wow! Alleys are great! More cities should have them!

Are you high?

Okay, Pokémon all fixed up and… Wait a minute.

Look at all this crap! Why do I need a Gym Badge for this?

I’m not allowed to escape from caves unless I’m badass enough to earn a Badge and consequently be badass enough to survive cave life? This system needs revising. Hey, I know what else this badge will let me do.

Seriously? I still can’t leave? Alright, Dreamyard.

There’s the tree that looks like it can be cut down! Other trees don’t look like that! Okay, now who’s got sharp enough claws?

Tree disintegrated.

Yeah, that Fennel lady talk to you, too?

No. Did you?

Good hearing, Bianca.

???

Hey, don’t kick it!

Oh, that guy’s staff? What was his name?

Oh… Did Fennel ask you for help, too?

So your boss can get votes? Devious.

Is that even how it works?

Don’t give them my name, Bianca!

Fluffy can deal with you.

See? Fluffy handled you. If you don't want your boss in trouble, you'll give me bribe money. Now.

That’s better.

Fluffy forgets how to smell in order to be a seeing-eye dog.

So do we.

! Mister Senator?

Oh, I get it. This is some kind of hallucination.

Good plan, guys. He’s standing right in front of you.

Hi there little buddy!

I think it’s some kind of hallucinogenic drug effect.

Some kind of drugging Pokémon.

Fennel, is that what you expected us to do? Just kick the thing?

Wait a minute…

That’s the only reason she gave up the monkey. She was out of her mind.

The guy in the alley, too.



And why you seem so fascinated by stairs.

That man didn’t let me leave because he knew what you wanted me for.

Oh. My. God. I've watched enough Law and Order to know. You were going to make me Cut Dream Mist into cocaine!

You’ve got this whole town hooked on it! What does this have to do with the Senator’s men? Did Pokémon Professor know about this when she told me to go to you?

Are you saying it didn’t have anything to do with her?

You can’t get addicted by one exposure to Dream Mist, right?

No way. I’m not getting any more involved in this.

Not nearly random enough.

Bianca, we fluked into it the first time. What are the chances we’d see it again?

Oh wow. That was fast.

A sedating mist? That could come in handy, Raph.

Okay, now we’re gonna catch it so Fennel can’t use it again.

Nice work, Raph. And when you wake up, we’ll move out.

Well, it doesn’t say you’re lethal…

It looks comfortable

I’ve heard about these on TV. They’re supposed to be healing Pokémon like Chansey. Don’t hurt it too bad, Fluffy.

Radar could come in handy.

Lovecrafter says Soundwave is superior. We'll see...

I gotta heal up and get out of this town. I’m not spending the night here.

Yes. It fucking is. Get out of my way!

A Day Care? Well, I’ve got seven Pokémon and I can only carry six…

I’ll see you later, Muggy. We’ve only been together for six hours but we’re bonded for life.

Oh, it’s a human Day Care too!

I think I can handle some preschoolers.

You’re not invincible. And Pokémon can’t smile.

You know what winners get?

Yes, candy money. That is what winners get.

Who dropped this? I mean… I didn’t find anything.

Well the feeling’s not mutual. Candy money.

Hmm… This should be interesting.

That was damn close. Drugs are difficult to harness.

Wee!

Oh no, this kid knows Hyper Beam! Run away!

Hello, girls.

Nope, five.

Dogs vs cats. Who could guess which way this is going to go?

Okay, it’s way too late and my Pokémon are worn out from beating up kids who are out way too late. Time to set up camp in this orphanage.

Knock knock.

What exactly happened today?

Painting "Fruit Bowl with Grape Leaves" by Donna Surprenant.